The Fat Chick

Molli got two weighings at the hospital this afternoon: one was her “closing” weight on the hospital scale; the other her “starting” weight on the scale of Anne Greve, the “visiting nurse” who will check in on us at home once a week from now on. The hospital called her 3183 grams, Anne Greve (using more primitive instrumentation) called her 3300. So there it is: the hospital weight system has seen her through from 2090 at birth to 3183 at “check out;” Anne Greve begins her weekly assessments at 3300, and subsequent weighings will presumably go up from there. (These gram measurements translate into 7.0 and 7.3 pounds in real weight.)

The hospital doctor looked at her, listened to her heart, flipped her around, tested her reflexes, and announced that we no longer had a “too-early” (preemie) baby. “You have a normal, fine, beautiful baby,” she said. “It’s like she was born today.” Molli was discharged. We’re done with that goddam hospital (bless its institutional heart!).

She and Anne Greve then talked us out of some of our more egregious anxieties and praised Molli’s health to the point that we got a little cocky this afternoon and took for a two-hour stroll through Frederiksberg Garden.

The weight gain is staggering. The hospital records will note a 350 gram (12 ounce) gain for the week. One of our nurses told us they like to see a minimum of 150 before they discharge babies. Molli rocks. Trine was telling Anne Greve about her feeding concerns: sometimes Molli just eats five minutes then stops; sometimes she eats for half an hour; how is Trine supposed to know she’s getting Molli enough food?

Anne Greve smiled and nodded toward Molli. “Just look at your daughter!” she exclaimed by way of answer. Yes. Not much risk of malnutrition at the moment.

Also the little weird things Molli does that I haven’t even mentioned because they seem to potentially scary to me have turned out to be perfectly normal newborn behavior. I won’t even say what these things were because all of you have had children and will laugh at me and want to know why I didn’t just ask you. I’ll tell you: Because I was afraid you’d say, ‘My God, that’s a sure sign of imminent spontaneous combustion, what have you done to her?'”

Author: This Moron

1 thought on “The Fat Chick

  1. Molli Malou – what good things you do! Gaining weight like a rolling stone gathers moss – there’s just no stopping you!
    Congratulations to Mom and Dad on doing such a fine job of nourishing and nurturing you. You have two great parents, young lady, and don’t you forget it.
    We will no longer refer to you as a preemie – only as our beautiful new little (not for long at this rate) granddaughter.
    All my love and xxxx
    farmor

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