When Molli Malou Met Maddie Marie

First of all, begin downloading this video (32MB, wmv format) immediately.

NO, wait! If you’re a late responder and have just now come to this blog from the announcement of Maddie Marie’s birth, scroll down to the next entry, read it, then come on back up and read this one.

Either way, while you wait for that video to load, let’s move on.

You’re 4½ years old. The universe to this point has been revolving entirely around you. Your needs, you know, are the actuators of all your parents actions. But you don’t think about that too much, because, besides not thinking too much in general, you are perfectly comfortable in the knowledge that your parents are the masters of the universe, omnipotent, omniscient, omnimagnificent.

They answer all questions, fix all broken things, make all meals, warm you when you’re cold, cool you when you’re hot, make you feel better when you feel not so good. They control things, but that’s okay, because you’re not rebellious. Yet. You’re just you, learning about you, becoming more and more you-ish every day.

And they’re there, like the sun and the moon and the tides, reliable, constant, dependable, and exclusively yours.

You know you’ve got a sibling coming along, and you’re excited. All the kids you know have siblings. Your dolls are fun, but you know a kid sister will be even more fun. You can teach her how to hop. You can teach her how to ride a bike. You can teach her everything, which will be fun, because not many people are willing to be taught by you just yet, and you know a sibling will have no choice.

And so it is you come into December, the Christmas month of your fifth year on this bitch of an earth, and you are happily the center of the yuletide preparations.

What excitement is in store for you on this December First? By Danish tradition, law, and custom, you know it’s all got to be good!

Right! Candy, that is normally available on Saturdays, is suddenly given to you every night! And there are the Christmas Calendars! And the candles! And the — hey, are those all gifts? For YOU?

And suddenly, inexplicably, on the very next day, Daddy picks you up at Børnehaven and instead of taking you home to the second night of ALL THAT, he whips you down to your maternal grandmother’s place, dumps you off, kisses you with unusual affection and suspicious solicitousness, and says, “You’re going to be a big sister very soon, Molli Malou! Let me have one last picture of you as my beautiful, brilliant, wonderful, amazing girl about to become a big sister!”

And you go…

And yeah, yeah, Mormor shows you some pictures that night, because you can’t sleep from all that candy she’s given you, of your little sister, who mostly looks like your smallest doll washed over in red paint… but that’s all like, you know, whatever, pixels on a screen, meaningless, —

Except Daddy shows up the next morning with presents. He gives you a big shiny ring!

And you get in the car with him, and Mormor and Jørgen, and before you know it Daddy is actually marching you down the hall to see your little sister! (You’re still preoccupied trying to figure out what all the fuss was about with Daddy going crazy about having left his ATM card in the parking meter or something — what was THAT about?)

Unbeknownst to you, the girl called Maddie Marie, a mere 17.5 hours old, is waiting for you.

And here you come, storming in too impatiently to remove your coat or your boots.

You’re so excited, you demand the camera and take a picture of your sister yourself!

Err… photography’s not your strong point when you’re so excited. Daddy helps you with the second shot.

And how are you feeling about her now?

Yes… so good that you insist on cramming your gift to her (a couple of sutter/pacifiers that Mormor helped you pick out) into her tent-crib.

And at the end of the day, Daddy takes you home and you put on your new Big Sister pajamas and your Santa Hat and open your calendars and your present and enjoy your chocolate and watch Nissenes Ø and pose so happily for Daddy, who has apparently remembered at last that you are the sun he orbits around…

Ah, but no, that’s not quite right, that still doesn’t get it quite right. The video has surely downloaded by now. Watch it. (Yeah, the music’s manipulative, sue me. I weep every goddam time I watch it, and I’m the cynical bastard that made it.)

Maddie is about 26 hours old right now, and cruising along.